Things I hate but other people love – The Music Edition

  • The Beatles – I like some of their music but for me I just don’t get it. Why did women go so ape shit over this crap?
  • Prince – or should we call him The artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as prince? I like one song by this guy, bat dance and I think that’s just because I love batman. The rest of his stuff just sounds like garbage to me. I can remember watching Purple Rain and wishing for some sort of interruption, possibly even death.
  • The Greatful Dead – I can’t explain it, I just don’t like it.
  • Nickelback – If I could pick one band I hate most, it would be this band. I hate their music, their look, and I hate people who try to explain to me why I should like them.
  • Metallica (post Black Album) – Remember when Metallica kicked ass? I was barley a teenager at the time but my love for Metallica changed to an outright loath. I really can’t fathom how “hardcore” fans could support them in their alt rock phase. Lets not forget that Metallica would sue their fans if they caught them downloading their music. Here’s a thought guys, instead of alienating your fans why not evolve and try to embrace technology. 
  • Bryan Adams – because his music sucks

Diets will turn you into a fat ass

Aorta Stopping Goodness...

Aorta Stopping Goodness...

 

 

If you’re committed to eating healthier you need to do something first. Don’t call it a damn diet! Diets don’t work. Why? Because as soon as you’ve hit your ideal weight, you’re going to go off your diet… then you’re going to become a fat ass again. Trust me, I know from experience.

If you’re ready, start a new you… a lifestyle change. This means eating healthy and becoming more active. Start slow if you have to, but just make sure your progress. 

My wife is a vegetarian, I am an omnivore… For the most part we eat the same thing during supper but occasionally I’ll crave blood and dig into the freezer for a steak or some chicken. I will admit that eating healthier with a vegetarian is a lot easier. 

Starting can be easy. Ween yourself off soda, water is the best drink out there. Don’t eat so much fried food. Eat moderately, work on your portion sizes.

Eating 6 smaller meals a day will increase your metabolism. My wife’s boss works out every day but eats only 2 times a day. His workout results don’t show at all. Eat a good breakfast, a small snack, lunch, a snack, supper, and end it with another snack if needed. Eating this way basically tells your body “hmmm I don’t have to store this meal because I know in 3 or 4 hours I’m going to have more coming my way.” If you were to eat 2 or 3 meals a day your body is thinking “If I don’t store this I might die. Better make this into fat!”

Definition of Pulchritudinous #1

 

co-host of Attack of the Show

Olivia Munn: co-host of Attack of the Show

Name: Olivia Munn

Age: 26

Height: 5’7″

2008 Maxim Rating: #99 

My opinion: 

Her sense of humour is probably most attractive… aside from the obvious. She is the co-host of Attack of the Show which can be seen on G4.

Married Life

 

A scene from the film Fight Club

A scene from the film Fight Club

I have been married for 6 months, so yeah, I’ll be the first to admit I’m a rookie when it comes married life. I’ve never had much of a long term relationship before I met my wife, mostly because I sort of knew that the women before her weren’t “the one.” Rather than waste my time, I simply stopped dating them. 

 

When I met my wife we moved quickly. We moved in together within 3 months, got engaged in 6 months, and got married in 16.

Like any relationship, we have our disagreements. Lets not sugar coat it, married people fight. It is my belief and according to a lot of other people that fighting is normal in a relationship. It’s when you don’t fight that I think problems are created. 

My parents fought and still fight. They’ve been married for 30 years and I think they’re happy. They have their good days and bad. The same could be said for my wife and I, although our fighting differs from a lot of relationships. We have yet to have a huge fight. 

A lot of the time I am oblivious that my wife is even mad at me. There was one time that I remember when we both got home but apparently I had said something that upset my better half. I didn’t know. She went straight to the bedroom, I just figured she went to the living room. At the same time, I started cleaning the kitchen, and washing the dishes. About 10 minutes pasted and I got an idea.

“Hey babe, do you want to rent a movie tonight?”

A few minutes past and I continued to do the dishes. My wife finally came out

“Did you realize that I’m mad at you?” she said in a sad teary eyed tone.

I actually laughed and told her no. She laughed too, but was still upset with me. We talked it over and I apologized for being an oblivious ass**** then we laughed at the whole situation. A lot of our fights are like that.

We have never gotten into a screaming match. I think my wife refuses to. I’ll admit I’ve raised my voice a few times but quickly correct myself. Sometimes I do wish that we’d get into a huge screaming match, not for the argument, but the post argument festivities. We have yet to experience make up sex.

** Note

I just read this to my wife and she says “We’ve had make up sex before!” 

I’m pretty sure we haven’t, so again, I’m oblivious!

100 pushups… in a row?

Remember that movie Twins? Remember how Danny Devito got all the “shit” genes while the Schwarzenegger got all the good stuff? Well growing up with a brother who was twice the size of me I thought I had a lot in common with the shitty twin.

My brother is strong, good at mechanics, and is the stereotypical blue collar guy. Me? Well I became the first in our family to graduate college. I’ve been working an office job for the last 9 years.

Physically I feel a lot stronger than I did during my college years. I’ve entered a triathlon the last 3 years and manage to improve every year. My legs are strong, it’s my arms that are weak.

I plan to change all that since I stumbled upon hundredpushups.com.

The site is designed to bring you from doing zero pushups to 100 within 6 weeks. At this point I can do about 12 proper pushups, then I lose form. I should be embarrassed but I’m not. I know a lot of other people who can’t even do half of what I can do. 

I know that this workout regimen will be tough, and my arms are going to hurt, but it would be nice do pushups without working up a sweat. 

Stomach churning… bowels clenching

 

Runner keeps on running... even after the runs

Runner keeps on running... even after the runs

Having diarrhea is never fun. There are a few elements that can make it worse. The main one in my opinion… not being at home.

One of my greatest fears is being in a public place, and feeling that oh too familiar feeling deep within my stomach. You look around and there are no washrooms in sight… you shit your pants.

I don’t know too much about the picture I provided in this post, all I know is that if I was this guy I would have stopped running and avoided the risk of someone taking a picture… but that’s just me.

My wife and I took a trip to do some shopping in the next town over. I was feeling fine but started feeling my stomach do some tricks when I stopped at taco time. Yes, I realize that taco time may have been the fuel that got that stomach of mine burning. So maybe I got what I deserved. Truth is my bowels haven’t been all that regular in the days before. 

After our lunch we stopped into a video store similar to Blockbuster. We looked at the previously viewed movies and didn’t find anything of interest to us. I started looking at the previously played games and was contemplating on buying a game. That’s when it hit me.

“I gotta shit, now!” I tell my wife in that tone that translates to “It’s an emergency!”

My wife and I do a quick scan of the walls, every door says “employees only.” My wife tells me to ask a employee. Both employees are busy, talking on the phone or dealing with customers. I had to make a decision right there and then… should I stay or should I go?

“Honey, lets go now!” I demand. In hindsight I must have seemed like a real prick. We go to the next business over. I pretend to be interested in furniture just so I’m not obvious, then I make a B line to the restroom where I proceeded to peel the walls with that diarrhea stink… twice!

I used up the rest of the toilet paper so I figured finding another bathroom after round 2 would be a good idea. I thought Walmart would be a great choice… many stalls, cool… it seemed like the perfect place. My wife wanted to go to Safeway however…

We went to Safeway

When we got there I went for round 3 without incident. I then went and found my wife. I was starting to feel a lot better and was able walk down half an aisle with my wife… then I vanished. I felt the churn and knew I had to trek all the way across the supermarket to the bathroom. As I was nearing the hallway to the washroom a guy a few ailes ahead of me cut me off and began walking towards my destination… 

shit…. pun intended.

It took everything I had to not do that… I waited and when I heard footsteps down the hall I pretty much ran to the bathroom. I’ve always hated big supermarkets and stores with only one unisex bathroom. It makes me wonder just how many disasters have happened because of this.

Round 4 was the last round of bowel clenching bliss, but just to make sure I purchased some Safeway brand Pepto Bismuth and took a shot. 

Now as much as I hate it, I really didn’t mean for my first blog entry to be about the time I almost shit myself. But it’s the truth. I intend to blog about whatever I want, since I’ve chosen to be guynonynmous I really have nothing to be embarrassed about.