Stomach churning… bowels clenching


Runner keeps on running... even after the runs

Runner keeps on running... even after the runs

Having diarrhea is never fun. There are a few elements that can make it worse. The main one in my opinion… not being at home.

One of my greatest fears is being in a public place, and feeling that oh too familiar feeling deep within my stomach. You look around and there are no washrooms in sight… you shit your pants.

I don’t know too much about the picture I provided in this post, all I know is that if I was this guy I would have stopped running and avoided the risk of someone taking a picture… but that’s just me.

My wife and I took a trip to do some shopping in the next town over. I was feeling fine but started feeling my stomach do some tricks when I stopped at taco time. Yes, I realize that taco time may have been the fuel that got that stomach of mine burning. So maybe I got what I deserved. Truth is my bowels haven’t been all that regular in the days before. 

After our lunch we stopped into a video store similar to Blockbuster. We looked at the previously viewed movies and didn’t find anything of interest to us. I started looking at the previously played games and was contemplating on buying a game. That’s when it hit me.

“I gotta shit, now!” I tell my wife in that tone that translates to “It’s an emergency!”

My wife and I do a quick scan of the walls, every door says “employees only.” My wife tells me to ask a employee. Both employees are busy, talking on the phone or dealing with customers. I had to make a decision right there and then… should I stay or should I go?

“Honey, lets go now!” I demand. In hindsight I must have seemed like a real prick. We go to the next business over. I pretend to be interested in furniture just so I’m not obvious, then I make a B line to the restroom where I proceeded to peel the walls with that diarrhea stink… twice!

I used up the rest of the toilet paper so I figured finding another bathroom after round 2 would be a good idea. I thought Walmart would be a great choice… many stalls, cool… it seemed like the perfect place. My wife wanted to go to Safeway however…

We went to Safeway

When we got there I went for round 3 without incident. I then went and found my wife. I was starting to feel a lot better and was able walk down half an aisle with my wife… then I vanished. I felt the churn and knew I had to trek all the way across the supermarket to the bathroom. As I was nearing the hallway to the washroom a guy a few ailes ahead of me cut me off and began walking towards my destination… 

shit…. pun intended.

It took everything I had to not do that… I waited and when I heard footsteps down the hall I pretty much ran to the bathroom. I’ve always hated big supermarkets and stores with only one unisex bathroom. It makes me wonder just how many disasters have happened because of this.

Round 4 was the last round of bowel clenching bliss, but just to make sure I purchased some Safeway brand Pepto Bismuth and took a shot. 

Now as much as I hate it, I really didn’t mean for my first blog entry to be about the time I almost shit myself. But it’s the truth. I intend to blog about whatever I want, since I’ve chosen to be guynonynmous I really have nothing to be embarrassed about.


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