The Best Man isn’t always…

 

I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t get married cliff side.

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To be a woman…

A friend of mine recently blogged about her wanting to become a man just to solve a few things… Like our fascination with lesbians. mmmmmm lesbians.

Lesbians are so awesome! I once saw two girls kissing in a bar and… oops.

Like I was saying, my friend had a few questions she wanted to figure out herself. Like our fascination with lesbians. mmmmm lesbians.

Lesb…. just kidding

That got me thinking about what it would be like to be a woman. I’ve got questions too!

1. Why is it when you say you’re ready it takes another 10 minutes?

2. Shoes… why do you need so many?

3. The orgasm… from what I’ve read it’s supposed to be better. This isn’t fair, in fact it’s bull shit! So yeah, I wanna experience that too.

4. Child birth… They say it’s painful. I’m going to be bold and say it’s all been one big lie to guilt men into pretty much everything. It’s a conspiracy and I would like to resolve the issue once and for all!

5. Dancing – Women can dance with their best friends an it isn’t weird. How great is that? If I were to dance all sexy like with my best friend, we’d both be beaten to a bloody pulp out in the back alley.

6. The restraint! Your bodies are so beautiful, why aren’t you looking at yourself naked 24/7?

Batman and Robin were lovers? The Joker was obsessed with Boners?

I could only imagine what happened next. The other three super heros look over at Batman... and then an awkward silence

I could only imagine what happened next. The other three super heros look over at Batman... and then an awkward silence

Boner crimes are wrong

Boner crimes are wrong

Ewwwwww

Ewwwwww


Thongs are considered trophies? Okay, lets say that those thongs do belong to some woman. Lets say he does keep them, and ummm chews on them. I guess that's okay, but why would you tell Robin this?

Thongs are considered trophies? Okay, lets say that those thongs do belong to some woman. Lets say he does keep them, and ummm chews on them. I guess that's okay, but why would you tell Robin this?


hehe, boner...

hehe, boner...


ohhh so it was Gotham that started the boner obsession.

ohhh so it was Gotham that started the boner obsession.


obviously a fake, but I thought it was funny.

obviously a fake, but I thought it was funny.

California woman is auctioning her virginity!

A 22 year old girl enrolled at Sacramento State University is auctioning off her virginity to help her with her studies. The actual deed will be done at the Bunny Ranch in Nevada so the act will be legal…

Imagine if we all did this… My first time wouldn’t have been so bad if I had made a few bucks out of the deal… That is why I have decided to auction off my virgin ass. I reserve the bid at ten million dollars, and also… the winner must have a really really small penis.

The proceeds will go towards therapy and then helping my friends and family

Ladies, he is out there….


p.s. no fatties.
(from CollegeHumor)

Why male bathroom etiquette cannot be broken!

Diets will turn you into a fat ass

Aorta Stopping Goodness...

Aorta Stopping Goodness...

 

 

If you’re committed to eating healthier you need to do something first. Don’t call it a damn diet! Diets don’t work. Why? Because as soon as you’ve hit your ideal weight, you’re going to go off your diet… then you’re going to become a fat ass again. Trust me, I know from experience.

If you’re ready, start a new you… a lifestyle change. This means eating healthy and becoming more active. Start slow if you have to, but just make sure your progress. 

My wife is a vegetarian, I am an omnivore… For the most part we eat the same thing during supper but occasionally I’ll crave blood and dig into the freezer for a steak or some chicken. I will admit that eating healthier with a vegetarian is a lot easier. 

Starting can be easy. Ween yourself off soda, water is the best drink out there. Don’t eat so much fried food. Eat moderately, work on your portion sizes.

Eating 6 smaller meals a day will increase your metabolism. My wife’s boss works out every day but eats only 2 times a day. His workout results don’t show at all. Eat a good breakfast, a small snack, lunch, a snack, supper, and end it with another snack if needed. Eating this way basically tells your body “hmmm I don’t have to store this meal because I know in 3 or 4 hours I’m going to have more coming my way.” If you were to eat 2 or 3 meals a day your body is thinking “If I don’t store this I might die. Better make this into fat!”